Parent-teen communication
- Find an opportunity to talk with your teen when you can give your undivided attention.
- Go for a drive or to a coffee shop. Find a comfortable environment and listen to your teen respectfully.
- Support your child and confirm that you are a good resource and nonjudgmental listener.
- Give your teen realistic strategies for confronting the problem effectively.
- Use examples from your teen years of mistakes you made or experiences you had and how you dealt with them.
- Use "when you (or your)...I feel...because..." statements.
this way, because it is not a behavior that occurs in healthy relationships."
- "When you text your partner five times an hour and at night when you should
be sleeping, I feel worried, because I dated someone that checked in on me
all the time and I felt controlled. What do you think?"
- Acknowledge your teens thoughts and feelings
- Identify the emotions your teen is displaying with words
- Do not criticize or belittle your teen for his or her thoughts and feelings
- Use oh...mmm...I see...to acknowledge what your teen is feeling. This
encourages him or her to continue talking.
- Let your teen know that you are worried about his or her safety
- Give specific examples of what you have observed that worries you
- Listen to your teen. Be supportive and nonjudgmental
- Allow your teen control in making his or her decisions regarding his or her relationship.
- Help your teen create a safety plan for when he or she is at school or with friends.
For more information see the following sources:
Faber, A. & Mazlish, E. (2006). How to talk so teens will listen & listen so teens will talk. New York, New York:
HarperCollins.
A Parent's Guide to Teen Dating Violence
https://www.texasadvocacyproject.org/documents/10questions_talking%20to%20your%20teen%20about%20abuse.pdf
Parent's Guide to Teen Dating Violence
http://www.stoprelationshipabuse.org/pdfs/Parents%20Guide%20to%20Teen%20Dating%20Violence.pdf
Constructive Feedback
https://www.erikbohlin.net/Handouts/Constructive_Feedback.pdf
Parent FAQs: Relationship Violence - Help for Parents
http://www.atg.wa.gov/page.aspx?id=1972#.VGj9QVfF-Cd
Faber, A. & Mazlish, E. (2006). How to talk so teens will listen & listen so teens will talk. New York, New York:
HarperCollins.
A Parent's Guide to Teen Dating Violence
https://www.texasadvocacyproject.org/documents/10questions_talking%20to%20your%20teen%20about%20abuse.pdf
Parent's Guide to Teen Dating Violence
http://www.stoprelationshipabuse.org/pdfs/Parents%20Guide%20to%20Teen%20Dating%20Violence.pdf
Constructive Feedback
https://www.erikbohlin.net/Handouts/Constructive_Feedback.pdf
Parent FAQs: Relationship Violence - Help for Parents
http://www.atg.wa.gov/page.aspx?id=1972#.VGj9QVfF-Cd